All day I've been thinking about rodeo weekend.
This last one.
I've been thinking about the Bullrider, Stoney Covington.
About his family.
About the phone call they must have received late Saturday night, back when there was a slight chance, a slight hope and yet even in the shock of that news, the frantic bargaining that might have begun. Those pleading conversations with God-The one a parent hopes they never have to have on behalf of their child.
Stoney was from the Okanogan Country, some two hundred miles west of Newport. He was 17 years old. He'd qualified and been invited to compete in the National High School Rodeo Finals in Gillette, Wyoming. He was a talented Roughstock rider, who although young, seemed gifted with try. I imagine when the good Lord took Stoney home, plucking him out of that Spokane bound Life Flight Helicopter, Stoney had to know he'd done better than good in his many draws. I believe that if he didn't already know that, the Lord reassured Stoney that he'd done the best he could. And them some.
Yet I also imagine that Stoney, and that even his family, never imagined their Saturday night could have ended in such a fashion. When you're 17, or 27, or 47, you just don't think about such things.
Neither did we-all those spectators in the stands and men working the chutes.
This year's rodeo, the grand slam Saturday Night performance started out quite special.
The Riderless Horse Ceremony honored three of our hometown hero's. Three generous and courageous men who'd passed away earlier in the year. Although these men were taken from us too soon-before their time, our memory of their impact upon us has not faded. The honors bestowed upon them were given by the town regardless of any factor, including sexual orientation in one case. This community is fair, and they honor people without hesitation based upon their contribution, their character, and their commitment.
During the opening ceremony, an extra rodeo clown appeared suddenly in the midst of all the beauty queens and rodeo princesses. That strange newcomer clown seemed on a different mission, and as it turned out he was in disguise: he a gentlemen cowboy come a calling, bearing a ring, and proposing to his soon to be princess bride in front of 4,000 friends he just hadn't met yet. The princess bride said yes to her cowboy. The place went wild.
Saturday night two long standing arena records shattered: Replacing them, a two second break away roping time, and a 16:77 time in barrel racing. An electric spark hung in the air. We could feel it.
So could the stock behind the chutes. Several bucking horses and a few bulls tried to climb their way out of the chutes. Maybe they knew something we didn't. Maybe they felt a certain presence waiting patiently for that time to be called and that number to come up.
The rodeo clown did his best to entertain and that translated into flaming jumps and stunts on a trick horse. Later the judges offered a few Roughstock competitors re-rides and as the sky turned crimson, then salmon, then magenta-everyone from cowboy to spectator to those working the chutes anticipated an evening of hooting and hollering it up after the rodeo at Kelley's Tavern.
As the last heat of the roughstock events began, and as the final light of that long purple sunset faded from the sky, Stoney mounted his bull.
But that is not where the story ends. It simply marks a change in direction. As much as witnessing something like this does a very real number on you, I don't believe that remembering that final ride is as important as remembering all the rides that came before. Although I did not plan on attending Sunday's Rodeo, after Saturday night's tragic ride, I felt I needed to be there.
The stands were nearly empty. I expected flowers might be left near Stoney's Chute but the arena was already cleaned up awaiting the day's events. The clowns, the pickup men, and the announcer must have dreaded that day's performance. How do you rally a thin and defeated crowd whose memory is still fresh with the image of that young fallen bullrider? How do you erase his fatal ride on a bull named Snake Eyes for the benefit of all the riders yet to try their hand at the purse, the buckle and eight seconds of glory? How do you hold it together when you yourself are falling apart on the inside?
As the pictures demonstrate, you don't.
I really can't make any sense of any of this change in direction. No words will ever really make it better. As the officials did their best to conduct Sunday's Riderless Horse Ceremony and the announcer struggled his way through the words, the stragglers in the grandstands found ourselves honoring a fourth man. A man most of us would never know. But a man, who just by entering that arena, changed our lives. A man taken from us too soon. A man gone long before his time.
I've been to more than a few funerals already this year. I know that the Twenty Third Psalm is probably more than a bit overused. But I found myself there yesterday thinking about those ancient words. Me, the same guy who absolutely rebels against any thought of ever doing anything that smacks of conformity, or following the lead of anyone else, sat there on a log bench. Overlooking the river, holding a bible sent to me by a youth pastor out of Kansas City, I stumbled though those pages. Words given to me by a man who has probably done more than his fair share of praying. Besides, you wouldn't think I'd even need to reference a bible after 6 years in religious colleges. But there I was trying to make sense of Psalm 23.
As pathetic as it is, I sat there reading and thinking about Psalm 23 because it was the only place I knew to go.
God hasn't seemed all that near lately. I'd even offer the words God seems everywhere but here. So make all the references to Job or Isaiah or anyone else who was really good at whining in the Good Book that you want, I still sat there on Sunday wondering questions good believers never admit they wonder.
Why weren't the prayers of 4000 people enough to keep Stoney with us? What about that bit in the Bible where it promises if two or three or 4000 people are gathered, God says he really, really hears their prayers?
I witnessed that everyone was praying. The rodeo clown was on his knees. The announcer was on his knees. The cowboys were all on their knees. Teared up, everyone around me was praying like they meant it. As the ambulance rolled into the arena and the paramedics tried to save that young bullrider, we were all praying as hard as we could. We begged God for at least 15 minutes but many of us kept praying later.
We prayed when we went out drinking at Kelley's after the rodeo. We prayed when we tucked our scared kids into bed that night. We asked our friends to pray. Yet despite all that praying, the Lord still took a bullrider home. There is no Hallmark, Lifetime Network ending here. It's not happily ever after- despite the really close call.
At least not from my limited perspective.
So late Sunday evening I sat there with that Bible, hoping no one saw me open it, and I thought about Shepherds, and thinking about being lead through scary places and wondering about the meaning of all of it with each and every step. As the sun set far to the northwest, sliding in a giant caress down over the Selkirks, I decided that maybe the Old Testament David could be my guide. I also thought about what I would want the Psalm to read like if it was written just for me. How could God talk straight forward-like to me, to help me make sense of the senseless. So that even I'd understand it...This is what I came up with.
A Cowboy's "The Lord is my Shepherd..."
The Lord is my riding partner, my pick up man, my try,
He is my header and heeler...
In Him, I am All Around Best,
Buckled up, Finals Bound or not
All my needs are met.
He allows my rest in the high country meadows
He lays before me the Big Sky.
He leads me besides the quiet, snow melted creeks
He renews my faith
He guides me on the most difficult paths on the surest mount
Bringing integrity to His name
Even when I wreck, and face that long darkened trail
I know no fear
For God is near
Your light and your Strength
Stand guard and reassure me
You prepare an arena for me
In the presence of my former competitors
You welcome me as your guest regardless of my score
You heal my tired and broken body
My life overflows with more than I can account for
Surely your goodness and unconditional love will not fail me
For All the days of my life
I will live in the mountain framed valleys of the Lord forever.
Timothy Anderson
Prayer Requests
For Chris, Stacy's husband who is facing some serious health challenges
For Tye, his parents...
For the Covington Family, Stoney's fellow bullriders, and all the roughstock riders and rodeo competitors.May this be the only fatality of the season.
For the competitors at this weekends IGRA sanctioned Alberta Rockies Gay Rodeo in Calgary
Links that make you think...
...Gay man named to Bush Administration post...
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/322031p-275336c.html
...Censorship bullet dodged...
http://planetout.com/news/feature.html?sernum=1184&navpath=/news/opinion/
...The "windy city" makes way for the gay games...
http://cbs2chicago.com/illinois/IL--GayChicago-in/resources_news_html
Center for Disease Control recommends frequent HIV testing for certain demographics of gay men...
http://www.advocate.com/news_detail.asp?id=18105
...June 27th set as National HIV Testing Day...
http://www.advocate.com/news_detail.asp?id=18108
...Committee to review West's email...
http://www.spokesmanreview.com/jimwest/story.asp?ID=062405_email
...Businesses continue to support Seattle Pride...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/business/230034_gaypridebusiness25.html
...Baptists moderate on Gay issues...
http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050623/NEWS06/506230422
...Things are so bad in Iraq that Bush once again uses Gay Marriage as a distraction issue...
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8303545
...Love Won Out argues for tolerance, using a wildly bogus and completely discredited study...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/229553_change23.html
...Love In Action ex gay camp now under investigation from the State of Tennessee...
http://www.washblade.com/thelatest/thelatest.cfm?blog_id=1264
...Ninth Canadian Province to legalize Gay Marriage...
http://nb.cbc.ca/regional/servlet/View?filename=nb-marriages20050624
...A year after gay marriage is legal in Mass. the state has the lowest divorce rate in the nation. And gay marriage is a threat to the American Family how?
http://www.masslive.com/editorials/republican/index.ssf?/base/news0/1119426748281750.xml&coll=1#continue
...A big fat Duh goes out on this one...
http://www.advocate.com/news_detail.asp?id=17827
...More on gays in the military...
http://www.detnews.com/2005/editorial/0506/20/A09-220449.htm
...Seattle Pride breaks records...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/230212_gaypride27.html
...Two more grizzly bear attacks fatalities...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002349376_webbear27.html
...Gay Pride and Gay Marriage in the Big Apple...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/26/nyregion/26cnd-pride.html
...The coming judicial battles...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/27/politics/27kennedy.html?pagewanted=1&th&emc=th
...Under pressure from the Bush Administration, US continues its pursuit of ideologically sound yet ineffective AIDS strategies...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/27/opinion/27mon3.html?th&emc=th
...Recruiters struggle to meet armed services quotas
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/27/opinion/27herbert.html?th&emc=th
...Yet another case of Mad Cow in US...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/26/national/26beef.html?pagewanted=1&th&emc=th
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/25/national/25cow.html?th&emc=th
...The trouble with Deep Throat, NPR and an administration that can't stand objective news coverage...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/26/opinion/26rich.html?pagewanted=2&th&emc=th
...Deadwood, the Wild, Wild, West, and dying by a bullet...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/25/opinion/25tierney.html?th&emc=th
...Bush Administration seeks to jail uncooperative reporters associated with CIA Outing
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/28/politics/28leak.html?th&emc=th
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