I am always writing about the folks who come in and out of my life. The keepers, the just passing through, the wished they'd stay'd longer, and the them who've left a big mark on my heart.
One such person is a constant figure-or at least he has been in and out of my life for longer than most. They say you don't know where you stand with a man until you've argued...until you've had words or disagreed, or had to tread water for another.
So that would pretty much sum up this dance. Read the tales...and then read the rest of the story below.
http://www.highmountainranch.com/SomeDay/Ch11.shtml
http://www.highmountainranch.com/TalesFromtheRoad/smackout.html
Writing Smack Out pass damn near cost me this friendship-and I still wonder whether I should have posted it. Then came the letters from others who'd been through something similar. How do you capture something so painful, while keeping perspective and objectivity? How does a writer "go there" even when it's such uncertain territory and you don't know what the future holds? The story of our lives is one of evolution. Yet to capture a specific moment seems to put a stamp on us where we get caught flash frozen. That doesn't exactly allow for growth.
After I wrote about one of the most challenging interpersonal situations I've ever faced, the subject of these stories and I quit talking for years. He knew the story was about him even as I changed names to keep one story from blending into another, and because I usually write about true to life events and condensed, compressed experiences-well, some seperation was in order. But the story remained true. It marked a new course in both of our lives and as unsettling as it was, it was a course we both had to experience to get to the next chapter.
As humans we have many faces-and we are in a constant state of change. That would be the rest of the story to this story.
Several years later Cole, I mean Skylar, who is actually Chase, came back into my life. About a year before my Grandmother passed away Chase began calling again, and we've become closer than ever. I am grateful for this friendship. I am grateful for the grace of second chances. I am grateful that he is who he is because his energy and spark and humor never cease to amaze me.
Most of all, I am grateful that we argued and "went there". Because if we hadn't, we wouldn't be where we are now.
Which is a pretty amazing place
2 comments:
I first found your blog about a year ago, courtesy of a link to "Cody." I have been a faithful reader since then.
When you write about ideas and things, you are cogent and compelling; I learn a great deal. But when you write about people, you soar; and I learn about myself.
Thank you so much for this experience.
Birdie
Dear brother Tim,
Thanks to the links I just re-read "Newly Renovated". Ah, how I remember my own days of believing in religion and the resulting constant stream of second-guessing myself. My gratitude for the reminder is great.
Here's your skill: In the framing story of your meeting with "Cole", the flashbacks present such a beautifully, tragically vulnerable person that by the time we return to the present, the reader totally identifies with you and desperately wants the relationship with "Cole" to succeed. If you (the story protagonist) finds love, we (the readers) find love.
That ability to make people care so much about a character in a story is rare, but you can do it because you really are that person. And that's why people love you (and your writing) so much.
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