It is humbling to realize that you've been read by thousands of people you've never met and probably never will. I get letters from parents and siblings of gay folk. I get letters from people who say that something I authored somehow made their life just a bit better. Maybe for just that day. Maybe it helped them remember something, or someone. Maybe it just distracted them. Maybe.
Nearly 20 years ago I actually had the opportunity to be a "fly on the wall" and watch someone read a story I'd written in a Seattle based magazine. I was sitting in a coffee house, not far from the trucking company I drove for at the time, and watched out of curiousity as a handsome guy picked up a copy of the magazine I regularly wrote for. It was a ego thing I guess- but as I hunched down, I had a sick facsination with whether my story would get any attention. Sipping my coffee, I'm embarrassed to say that I spied on the dude, wondering if he'd even glance at my story.
When people read your work, it's a tremendously nervous moment. I mean all of "you" is out there, bleeding on paper for "the world" to pick apart, and when people respond negatively-well its difficult not to take it personally.
Mentally I go through endless scenarios. The reader will hate me. They will think I am a dork or a massive drama magnet. They will disbelieve my accounts. They will wonder why anyone would publish such a bad speller and murderer of the english language. Yes, that is what goes through my head. Every day.
Since my head injury-I miss a lot of grammer and punctuation and spelling problems. When I realize an entire sentense is missing a verb or some phrasing and that I've just published or posted something that is the work of a true idiot, I pray no one has read it before I can fix it.
So anyway as the dude leafed through the ads at the begining of the magazine I watched and held my breath and fell apart inside.
The guy found the table of contents. Then he paged purposely through the magazine. He went directly to a specific story.
My story!
Now I'd entirely quit all breathing.
My work. He was reading my work. I stared until he closed the magazine and realized that it was the only thing in the entire magazine that he read! He'd laughed. He'd smiled. It seemed the essay had somehow improved his day. I wanted to run up and hug him and buy him dinner but because this was Bellingham and he was totally out of my league and probably a PHD candidate at Western, I just sat there and imagined being the guy that had the balls to introduce myself.
Instead, I just slunk out of the coffee house, jumped in the tractor and got my butt on the road to Yuma. Late as usual.
In the passing twenty years a lot has changed. The term "going Viral", that "overnight sensation of instant mass consumption" occuring as a result of Youtube, blogs, and the web has changed everything. Last night on ABC New's 20/20 show, the program focused on societies quest for immediate access to everything...which includes authors and news makers and people who have through brilliance or stupidity found themselves in the spotlight. The basic premise was privacy is a thing of the past and that anyone, anywhere can find themselves the subject of popular discourse...
I purposely hid this blog on the website www.highmountainranch.com to limit traffic to those who are truly regular readers. It was a way to have more interaction with out actually writing individually to everyone because I just can't keep up with that. Since my vision is still a mess, my ability to respond to all the mail/email I get is limited. So I've taken to posting some of the letters I receive, especially if a letter asks a question that I get a lot of. I hope that posting your thoughts demonstrates that being a writer really is a two way street and that I appreciate the feedback.
Dear Timbo,
The picture on your blog of a painted Christmas tree ... is it Norwegian or other Scandinavian origin?
Did your mother make it? I would love to buy one if they are available.
Aldon
This letter prompted a call to my mom...
The Christmas Tree was hand painted by my mom...but unless she charges an arm and a leg, she tells me she's not really up for selling that piece as she plans to pass it down...
Because many of the pieces my mom creates are one-of-a-kind, she takes a great deal of time to produce her work. Some of her finished art work is for sale. In the past she's also done custom work such as hand painting ancient trunks, antique furniture or specially commissioned pieces. Many of her creations are found in living rooms and art collections throughout the Northwest and the West.
In a couple weeks I will try to post some of her work as well as show some of what she's created in the past...If someone sees something that she's done in the past, if she can find or get a wooden ware item created to match the original, she will gladly recreate any piece she's already done. She often works with folks to modify color schemes so that they will fit with their decor.
Hi Mr Anderson:
I know you don't know me as this is my first time writng to you. Honestly I have been meaning to write and talk to you about your stories. The way I came across the stories was through the open directory web site http://www.dmoz.com/ under the on-line writing link and then I clicked on the gay/lesbian link. I was a bit bored at work one day and I went scrolling through looking for something to read while on break.
Well I found your stories and I was hooked. Absolutely without a doubt you have a way with words. You are a true wordsmith. I hope to read more of your stuff from time to time. "Save Your Bows" was a great Christmas story. I have always loved Christmas and everything that goes with it believe it or not.
Sure I get stressed like a lot of folks during this time. But I remeber the one reason for the holiday. Even though I am gay myself, I believe Jesus and God still loves me for who I am as a person. As someone said one day even Jesus hung out with the misfits of society.
Even though it was a long time ago I am sorry to hear about your accident and I hope you can go back on the road if that's your wish in life. I have a friend who's a former trucker and I am going to introduce him to your stories.
Take care and as always Peace and Goodwill.
Roger
Georgia, USA
Thanks Roger...
As of this writing, I don't know what lies ahead. Still, everytime I jump on a large car (semi truck) and ride with one of my friends, it's intoxicating. The big road will always have a huge hold on me but I also realize that I've already spent the better part of two decades on the road and that maybe I should take that experience and do something with it?
Trucking is such a rich culture and the friendships I made in the industry are among the best any guy could hope for. I suppose the "Tales From the Road" follow along those lines and have created an opportunity to share those experiences with others.
I also write from a faith based perspective because often I find that some straight people seem completely convinced that a gay person can't possibly believe in God- ( I mean when 25% of the country is convinced you're greased and prepped for the fast train to hell, this isn't exactly a surprising response...) I just think God isn't as worried about my sexual orientation as many televangelists would like lead us to believe. Jesus said nothing on the subject and some scholars believe he actually blessed a same sex couple...
So I take great comfort that homophobia is a creation of humanity rather than the creator.
Thanks Roger for taking the time to share your impressions.
PS- "Save Your Bows" can be found here: http://www.highmountainranch.com/TalesFromtheRoad/savethebows.html
Hi Tim,
I just (finally) read your Stonewall article. It was fabulous. I loved it. It had a little of everything and ended with the most important point of all. You are an excellent writer.
Please let me know when you have other articles that I can read. Thanks Tim.
Happy Holidays!!!!
Darcy, Spokane Washington
As much as my folks dread whenever I write about our family-I do think that they were actually happy with this year's Christmas story contribution. Trust me, it hasn't always been that way.
Hi Tim,
Beautiful picture....
One of the scenes I love to paint.
I've been following your "Tales From The Road" series for quite some time now and have read the rest of your writings. You have the gift of words. You had me crying and laughing - like I was there experiencing everything you wrote. You have one more fan and supporter. Hope this Christmas season finds you and your family in good health and happiness.
Merry Christmas & a Blessed New Year.
Joe
Thanks Joe-I'd love to see some of your work. I am a big fan of all the creative beauty that I've been blessed to see... And thanks to everyone else who has penned a note. I wish everyone a very happy new year.
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