The "eyes" have it....

This morning I am in recovery.

Recovery from a three year old's birthday bash. My sister threatened me last night. "If you write about what happened, be nice. Otherwise, don't even think about writing a word. "

Just to give y'all an idea, well here's a few pics of "Light Assembly Required" and the world of just turned "Three".

Yesterday, all 52 hours of it, inspired many thoughts. Most of which I think are best kept to myself. I have to give the three year old a break. Not even movie stars are adept at handling that much attention gracefully.

One thought though, a carry over from the day before, continued through yesterday's interaction. I've been thinking...which is fair warning to everyone what comes next. It's a further response to hanging out with the guys who have been together for nearly three decades, and it's leapfrogged me toward today's blog.

Spending so much time with straight folk during the birthday festivities, about 10 different couples and their assorted kids, I suddenly wondered what they might do if they suddenly found themselves single...or what if they'd never met their partner in the first place? What if prince charming or the princess bride never fell from heaven to light their way? How might life appear to them? What sort of loneliness might they know? Or would they be content as single folk, with the once in awhile you've got mail?

My sister works with a single woman who I've known since I was in college. The first time around.

Celia is a bit on the voluptuous side. O K, a lot on the voluptuous side. But for the last year she's been taking way better care of herself, and having not seen her for several months, when I saw her this past weekend, I was like, "Holy shit! Look at you babe. You're looking amazing!"

And she is. Simply hot as hell. But she hasn't dated in like forever. Maybe beyond that.

Celia looks like she's still in her twenties, and this light, bright joy dances in her eyes. She's got this sweet laugh that bounces through the room, elevating one and all. But yet, she's still a bigger girl. A beautiful, has so much to offer someone, magnetic, bigger girl. Its just she's not a size 2. Never has been. Never will be. Still she's really really pretty. Beautiful even, both inside and out. She's got that all that sugar and spice and everything nice stuff going on-comfort giving-familiar-down home. She loves kids and would love to have her own.

And for a guy, well you couldn't ask for a better audience. I mean Celia laughs at everything you say...I mean everything you say. Even if it's really corny or stupid and on second thought, not all that funny.

And you wonder, why isn't someone in her life? When is her ticket for romance gone come? When, when, when...

I've also been hanging out with this other guy- a straight guy I'd like to call Dan...same story...not the buff chiseled type but damn, is he the most amazing kind, generous, and wonderful guy or what? He loves kids, has been down the busted up heart trail. This guy is way beyond successful, funny and blessed with such a gentle spirit. He's giving, true, and loyal. Where is his some kind of light speed, star struck lover for two, dance call? I don't get it.

Now I admit a few weekends back when I was helping my sister move, and Celia and Dan were in the same room, I went outside and did a really fast Cupid dance, praying for a spark. They'd be such a great couple. Sugar and sugar, even spice and spice, might love just strike em in that moment? But it didn't. Nothing. Nada.

O k, so everyone knows I can't dance. Probably not the best idea to get Cupid to hang out. I frightened him and he took his magic fairy dust to Denmark or Detriot instead.

But, not content to leave well enough alone, I've threatened to write up a personal ad for both Celia and Dan, which scared the two of them immediately into the next century.

"Don't Tim. Just don't."

"Are you sure?"

The looks I received convinced me they were so sure. Completely.

Then I get that return fire question. "So why are you single?"

Uh how do you explain all the complexities of the gay world to people who really don't want that much information. So, I have a great excuse that on a cursory level works- for those that don't know the whole bloody trail of tears experience that makes up my own history. I answer that its about location. There just aren't a lot of gay guys wanting a Pend Oreille County lifestyle. That seems to fend off further questions, because straight folks who are familiar with the stereotypical Fab 5 Queer Eye for the Straight guy thing, or all translations of Queer as Folk, and the urban dance of Will and Grace, well they can't imagine any of those characters living contentedly in a triple wide, a mile and a half off the pavement, knitting afgans. Yep the location answer shuts everyone up real quick.

The only thing that doesn't shut up is my own mind as I think about single and partnered, uncoupled and coupled, just passing through and staying awhile. I don't really have any answers as I sort through all this magic love stuff. But maybe thats the point. Maybe its not about answers, but about putting yourself out there.

So I've decided that I'm still gonna pen up those personal ads for Dan and Celia. If for no other reason than as my dispatcher once told me, "Tim you don't know the meaning of the word no."

And I don't. Because one of these days, that answer has gotta turn into a yes.


today's news link: It sorta has something to do with yesterday...in that numerous of the families I was hanging out with are military families. Several dad's are serving in Iraq and they are missing out on their own kid's birthdays. I'm no big fan of the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, and having many gay friends proudly and patriotically serving in the military it's high time the policy ends. Maybe if we weren't throwing so many qualified soldiers out of the military, including much needed gay linguists who speak and understand languages utilized by terrorists, maybe just maybe a few more of those dads could have made it home to celebrate their kids birthdays. Yuh think?
http://www.armytimes.com/story.php?f=1-292925-773881.php