Quote of the day:
CRUISING for SEX is currently offline due to Hurricane Katrina which struck our home city, New Orleans, overnight Sunday. Flooded streets are making it impossible to get near our office to access damage. We are in the process of relocating all websites to a location in another state and will be back online as soon as possible.
If you believe in prayer, please say one for our home city and all its people who have lost so much. If not a prayer, just send your good thoughts her way. The situation appears to be growing worse by the hour. Our beautiful Big Easy is devastated and will need much love and tender care to bring her back.
Keith, Your Cruisemaster
Bloggers note: Uh thanks Ric for sending this to me to put on the prayer list...but one question...was I supposed to put the City of New Orleans on the Prayer Request List or the Website "Crusing for Sex" on the prayer list? I am sure numerous readers might suggest that both are deserving mentions...
Today's Blog:
A note to all my fine readers: I will be in Montana until Monday September 5, 2005. Please take care of yourselves, stay safe, and mind your momma.
Prayer Requests:
For anyone affected by Hurricane Katrina...
For David, who may have had a mini stroke this week, and for his wife Joyce, who is recovering from cancer...
Prayers of Thanks that Mark seems to have passed all his medical tests recently with flying colors...
For Paul, who is going through a really rough time...
For Jay who shattered his Achilles Heel...
For Nancy who remains facing cancer concerns...
For Cathy, and Keith and ongoing health issues...
For my cousin Grant's infant daughter born several months premature...she's still hospitalized...
For my neighbor Dennis who is fighting a five year battle against cancer...
For Clayton's Sister who is going through a tough time...
For parents Vickie and Jimmy and their premature babies Heidi and Olivia...
For Stacy and Chris-who face frightening health challenges...
For Bobbi that her pregnancy continues without complications...Bobbi carries a boy.
For Brooke who is also pregnant. She is carrying a girl.
For all the cattle ranchers on both sides of the border facing Mad Cow fears...
For Dana's husband, that he makes it home safely from Iraq...
Links, links, links...
Dissing Hillary....
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/31/opinion/31dowd.html?th&emc=th
To stay or not to stay....
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/31/opinion/31fukuyama.html?th&emc=th
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Where the Wild Things Are
Quote of the day:
"I am surprised by the sheer number of blogs, diaries, and web profiles that I read that seem to be the real voice of the person you’d never be allowed to see in real life. Myself included. The internet has become, in large part, a great place for those who feel unheard, unfelt, or unseen to mouth off, show off, get off, and write off. Just the other day, in fact, someone remarked to me how without a delicate network of plastic cables, wires, and service providers, they’d be otherwise invisible."
From Angstlos and his brilliant August 30th blog found here:
http://cmj912.diaryland.com
Today's Blog:
I keep reflecting on the book "The Road Less Traveled" and its theological branding of identity politics. Comparing forgotten byways with the sparks that join one human to another, the secret to joining individuality and commonality must lie somewhere within.
As we package up our world with logos, adjectives, and mass marketed trends, our reliance on words like "fresh", "new", and "groundbreaking" signify we remain very stale indeed.
Each of us drowns in our own self created version of terminal unique, wearing our logo'd individuality, all the while sporting varying takes on a universally Made in China origination. Our identity issues seem to trump our humanity- The extremes rule the day. Either we stand NRA'd and super sized, penis'd-up!, with a four inch lift, letting our "practical" urban 4x4 Humvee trucks protect us from commonality or, we crouch incognito and enlightened, treading lightly in our politically correct, obscure but environmentally friendly Volkswagens. All the while wishing really hard the world was powered by bicycles. We recycle ourselves into a utopian state of denial. One that refuses to accept that mankind consumes and that nothing is sustainable forever. Not even a Volkswagen.
I guess I reside in the perpetual "none of the above" column. Neither camp has my allegiance. I somehow made a left turn, bypassing the mid life crisis that was originally scheduled for broadcast during this time period. Instead I've landed back in the rebellious anarchy of some prolonged adolescence. I'm impatient with the planet. Especially when it comes to our species interaction, and how we market ourselves to one another.
It's all empty rhetoric. It's such a waste of energy to "be" anything these days. Consistency is so overrated. We proclaim, we promote, we brand, and we pretend without accountability.
I'd like to say I'm exempt from this behavior but I am a shitty liar. I secretly admit the pretty little sport utility vehicle, the one with the matching colored balls hanging off the back bumper is so tough and butch. Or whatever adjective such a ridiculous and empty and sadly proud statement is supposed to represent. I tip my hat in respect to anyone whose insecurities are so profound that they can display such an item and not be aware the parallel statement those dangling testicles make.
Translation: If you have to display your balls off your back bumper, chances are you're lacking 'em.
But then again it takes balls to make such a supreme ass of yourself. Especially in this very public way. It's sort of a chicken or egg type of debate. Which came first? The insecurity? Or the testicles? Either way the result is the same. Divorce court or therapy. Or both.
This summer I've danced with the mirror of insecurity and watched it crack. Humanity dazzles me with brilliant inconsistency which is dangerously competitive with my own hypocrisy and stunning foolishness. I've decided that human brilliance seems to rest not so much in what we create but in what we have the vision to leave alone. These days, leaving well enough alone seems to be in ever short supply.
Here is a great example of the road not so less traveled, from the world of dating.
A journalist acquaintance confessed early last winter that he'd decided to find himself a mate. His search was methodical, purposeful and Internet based. He has at least a dozen profiles, all of them starting with the required butch cigar looking ridiculously out of place dangling from his postured mouth. These poses attract that initial and all important coffee date-the reward of endless hours spent trolling online. Although it was only February, he'd already been to coffee over 60 times so far. During our phone conversation, I listened fascinated as the man confessed he always knew within the first few seconds of each coffee date if he'd found Mr. Right.
Sadly, even after instant confirmation that this or that baited fish wasn't a keeper, he still had to endure the rest of the "interaction". He bemoaned all the time these coffee interactions wasted but admitted they'd spawned a friendship or two.
Still, time was a wasting...especially when he could have already scrambled right back to the Internet to find the next potential "spark" or trophy fish "catch".
How cool.
Humanity, we've all become just another consumable commodity, much like Ramen Noodles, Cowboy Equipment Underwear or discount DVDs strewn through the rack at Best Buy.
Will we be "in" this year and "out" next year? I mean has any other civilization in the history of our species ever survived speed dating, meterosexuals, and gasp, on line hook ups?
Dating, interaction, and intimacy is the next peer tested formula, complete with market surveys and checklists of lowest common denominators, all efficient and perfect. Feel the yawn.
But back to the journalist. He is perpetually single, and so far his allusive searching for that "spark", after his 60 coffee dates is bone dry. Visualizing the charts and statistics, market analysis and methodology such a search must inspire and produce, I wonder where a trend like this ends?
Bound and determined to not only ignite but immediately snuff out any potential spark, the single journalist reminds me of those dangling balls hanging off the bumper-the rigid parameters of the search all but guarantee that spontaneous combustion is no where in the mix and like the testicles, the issues that conveys about the dude is something that seems obvious to everyone but him. Dating, as strictly a numbers game, becomes more frantic and desperate the greater the search. The staggering diminished potential of any interaction is the obvious net result.
Over the weekend, I caught some parallel thoughts as I considered sparks, nature and leaving well enough alone. I spent a great deal of time on the edge of wilderness, contemplating perfection against the best of all things "Man Made."
Whether it's "Man Made" landscaping, or man made artificial love, it seems the more we force our pre-determined outcomes, the less they resemble what we envision. Leave nature alone and she does ok. Let's leave the formula's out of dating. The better the chances for experiencing something real. The minute we starting living and quite waiting is when availability knocks. Let love happen and live your life to the fullest in the in between time.
Or at least give yourself the chance for that spark sitting across from you, sipping his double latte, to ignite into a flame.
A Poem For Dianne...
August on the Fair Midway
As the moon rose over the rodeo...
Roughstock riders on their high
Bulls snapping like free fall ricochet
South Baldy standing at attention
Guarding our valley from the world
But the moon trumped all
Casting light on the darkness
We drove home without headlights
so bright was the night...
I could see my reflection cast on the ground
And in it I saw you.
Timothy Anderson
Prayer Requests:
For anyone affected by Hurricane Katrina...
For David, who may have had a mini stroke this week, and for his wife joyce, who is recovering from cancer...
Prayers of Thanks... that Mark seems to have passed all his medical tests recently with flying colors...
For Paul, who is going through a really rough time...
For Jay who shattered his Achilles Heel...
For Nancy who remains facing cancer concerns...
For Cathy, and Keith and ongoing health issues...
For my cousin Grant's infant daughter born several months premature...she's still hospitalized...
For my neighbor Dennis who is fighting a five year battle against cancer...
For Clayton's Sister who is going through a tough time...
For parents Vickie and Jimmy and their premature babies Heidi and Olivia...
For Stacy and Chris-who face frightening health challenges...
For Bobbi that her pregnancy continues without complications...Bobbi carries a boy.
For Brooke who is also pregnant. She is carrying a girl.
For all the cattle ranchers on both sides of the border facing Mad Cow fears...
Links, links, links...
Outstanding questions that should be raised as Roberts is considered for a spot on the Supreme Court...
http://www.detnews.com/2005/editorial/0508/29/A09-295790.htm
The saddest commentary yet on our so called political leadership-on both sides of the aisle...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/28/opinion/28rich.html?pagewanted=1&th&emc=th
Maureen Dowd nails the spin of the administration with deadly accuracy...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/27/opinion/27dowd.html?th&emc=th
Why the US, especially President Bush, can no longer continue to play hard ball with Canada...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/27/business/27nocera.ready.html?pagewanted=1&th&emc=th
Grizzly Bear endangered listing remains hot topic in the Selkirks...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002454635_grizzly28.html
Administration official proposes drastic and extreme rewrite of National Park policies...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/29/opinion/29mon1.html?th&emc=th
More religiously motivated insanity...
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050828/ap_on_re_us/soldier_funeral_protests
Christians under attack in Iraq...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002454622_christians28.html
Why Judge Roberts seems to be a judicial activist...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/27/opinion/27satt3.html?th&emc=th
Recall campaign off and running...
http://www.spokesmanreview.com/jimwest/story.asp?ID=083005_rules
http://www.spokesmanreview.com/jimwest/story.asp?ID=083005_petitions
"I am surprised by the sheer number of blogs, diaries, and web profiles that I read that seem to be the real voice of the person you’d never be allowed to see in real life. Myself included. The internet has become, in large part, a great place for those who feel unheard, unfelt, or unseen to mouth off, show off, get off, and write off. Just the other day, in fact, someone remarked to me how without a delicate network of plastic cables, wires, and service providers, they’d be otherwise invisible."
From Angstlos and his brilliant August 30th blog found here:
http://cmj912.diaryland.com
Today's Blog:
I keep reflecting on the book "The Road Less Traveled" and its theological branding of identity politics. Comparing forgotten byways with the sparks that join one human to another, the secret to joining individuality and commonality must lie somewhere within.
As we package up our world with logos, adjectives, and mass marketed trends, our reliance on words like "fresh", "new", and "groundbreaking" signify we remain very stale indeed.
Each of us drowns in our own self created version of terminal unique, wearing our logo'd individuality, all the while sporting varying takes on a universally Made in China origination. Our identity issues seem to trump our humanity- The extremes rule the day. Either we stand NRA'd and super sized, penis'd-up!, with a four inch lift, letting our "practical" urban 4x4 Humvee trucks protect us from commonality or, we crouch incognito and enlightened, treading lightly in our politically correct, obscure but environmentally friendly Volkswagens. All the while wishing really hard the world was powered by bicycles. We recycle ourselves into a utopian state of denial. One that refuses to accept that mankind consumes and that nothing is sustainable forever. Not even a Volkswagen.
I guess I reside in the perpetual "none of the above" column. Neither camp has my allegiance. I somehow made a left turn, bypassing the mid life crisis that was originally scheduled for broadcast during this time period. Instead I've landed back in the rebellious anarchy of some prolonged adolescence. I'm impatient with the planet. Especially when it comes to our species interaction, and how we market ourselves to one another.
It's all empty rhetoric. It's such a waste of energy to "be" anything these days. Consistency is so overrated. We proclaim, we promote, we brand, and we pretend without accountability.
I'd like to say I'm exempt from this behavior but I am a shitty liar. I secretly admit the pretty little sport utility vehicle, the one with the matching colored balls hanging off the back bumper is so tough and butch. Or whatever adjective such a ridiculous and empty and sadly proud statement is supposed to represent. I tip my hat in respect to anyone whose insecurities are so profound that they can display such an item and not be aware the parallel statement those dangling testicles make.
Translation: If you have to display your balls off your back bumper, chances are you're lacking 'em.
But then again it takes balls to make such a supreme ass of yourself. Especially in this very public way. It's sort of a chicken or egg type of debate. Which came first? The insecurity? Or the testicles? Either way the result is the same. Divorce court or therapy. Or both.
This summer I've danced with the mirror of insecurity and watched it crack. Humanity dazzles me with brilliant inconsistency which is dangerously competitive with my own hypocrisy and stunning foolishness. I've decided that human brilliance seems to rest not so much in what we create but in what we have the vision to leave alone. These days, leaving well enough alone seems to be in ever short supply.
Here is a great example of the road not so less traveled, from the world of dating.
A journalist acquaintance confessed early last winter that he'd decided to find himself a mate. His search was methodical, purposeful and Internet based. He has at least a dozen profiles, all of them starting with the required butch cigar looking ridiculously out of place dangling from his postured mouth. These poses attract that initial and all important coffee date-the reward of endless hours spent trolling online. Although it was only February, he'd already been to coffee over 60 times so far. During our phone conversation, I listened fascinated as the man confessed he always knew within the first few seconds of each coffee date if he'd found Mr. Right.
Sadly, even after instant confirmation that this or that baited fish wasn't a keeper, he still had to endure the rest of the "interaction". He bemoaned all the time these coffee interactions wasted but admitted they'd spawned a friendship or two.
Still, time was a wasting...especially when he could have already scrambled right back to the Internet to find the next potential "spark" or trophy fish "catch".
How cool.
Humanity, we've all become just another consumable commodity, much like Ramen Noodles, Cowboy Equipment Underwear or discount DVDs strewn through the rack at Best Buy.
Will we be "in" this year and "out" next year? I mean has any other civilization in the history of our species ever survived speed dating, meterosexuals, and gasp, on line hook ups?
Dating, interaction, and intimacy is the next peer tested formula, complete with market surveys and checklists of lowest common denominators, all efficient and perfect. Feel the yawn.
But back to the journalist. He is perpetually single, and so far his allusive searching for that "spark", after his 60 coffee dates is bone dry. Visualizing the charts and statistics, market analysis and methodology such a search must inspire and produce, I wonder where a trend like this ends?
Bound and determined to not only ignite but immediately snuff out any potential spark, the single journalist reminds me of those dangling balls hanging off the bumper-the rigid parameters of the search all but guarantee that spontaneous combustion is no where in the mix and like the testicles, the issues that conveys about the dude is something that seems obvious to everyone but him. Dating, as strictly a numbers game, becomes more frantic and desperate the greater the search. The staggering diminished potential of any interaction is the obvious net result.
Over the weekend, I caught some parallel thoughts as I considered sparks, nature and leaving well enough alone. I spent a great deal of time on the edge of wilderness, contemplating perfection against the best of all things "Man Made."
Whether it's "Man Made" landscaping, or man made artificial love, it seems the more we force our pre-determined outcomes, the less they resemble what we envision. Leave nature alone and she does ok. Let's leave the formula's out of dating. The better the chances for experiencing something real. The minute we starting living and quite waiting is when availability knocks. Let love happen and live your life to the fullest in the in between time.
Or at least give yourself the chance for that spark sitting across from you, sipping his double latte, to ignite into a flame.
A Poem For Dianne...
August on the Fair Midway
As the moon rose over the rodeo...
Roughstock riders on their high
Bulls snapping like free fall ricochet
South Baldy standing at attention
Guarding our valley from the world
But the moon trumped all
Casting light on the darkness
We drove home without headlights
so bright was the night...
I could see my reflection cast on the ground
And in it I saw you.
Timothy Anderson
Prayer Requests:
For anyone affected by Hurricane Katrina...
For David, who may have had a mini stroke this week, and for his wife joyce, who is recovering from cancer...
Prayers of Thanks... that Mark seems to have passed all his medical tests recently with flying colors...
For Paul, who is going through a really rough time...
For Jay who shattered his Achilles Heel...
For Nancy who remains facing cancer concerns...
For Cathy, and Keith and ongoing health issues...
For my cousin Grant's infant daughter born several months premature...she's still hospitalized...
For my neighbor Dennis who is fighting a five year battle against cancer...
For Clayton's Sister who is going through a tough time...
For parents Vickie and Jimmy and their premature babies Heidi and Olivia...
For Stacy and Chris-who face frightening health challenges...
For Bobbi that her pregnancy continues without complications...Bobbi carries a boy.
For Brooke who is also pregnant. She is carrying a girl.
For all the cattle ranchers on both sides of the border facing Mad Cow fears...
Links, links, links...
Outstanding questions that should be raised as Roberts is considered for a spot on the Supreme Court...
http://www.detnews.com/2005/editorial/0508/29/A09-295790.htm
The saddest commentary yet on our so called political leadership-on both sides of the aisle...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/28/opinion/28rich.html?pagewanted=1&th&emc=th
Maureen Dowd nails the spin of the administration with deadly accuracy...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/27/opinion/27dowd.html?th&emc=th
Why the US, especially President Bush, can no longer continue to play hard ball with Canada...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/27/business/27nocera.ready.html?pagewanted=1&th&emc=th
Grizzly Bear endangered listing remains hot topic in the Selkirks...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002454635_grizzly28.html
Administration official proposes drastic and extreme rewrite of National Park policies...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/29/opinion/29mon1.html?th&emc=th
More religiously motivated insanity...
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050828/ap_on_re_us/soldier_funeral_protests
Christians under attack in Iraq...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002454622_christians28.html
Why Judge Roberts seems to be a judicial activist...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/27/opinion/27satt3.html?th&emc=th
Recall campaign off and running...
http://www.spokesmanreview.com/jimwest/story.asp?ID=083005_rules
http://www.spokesmanreview.com/jimwest/story.asp?ID=083005_petitions
Friday, August 26, 2005
Montana Serenity
A stunning view of the Bull River Valley...I keep coming back to this place. No matter how messed up the world sometimes seems, from this vantage, it always appears far more reasonable. It's as if all these ancient trees and mountains help put everything into perspective...
Actions verses words
Quote of the day:
"The other day the rest home social worker stopped to ask if all of us could get together to discuss our "care plan". I can't tell you how many of these I've been through in the past 8 months, but they've all pretty much been a waste of time, but I'll be there at 10 AM tomorrow.The plan is to get mom enough physical therapy and whatever other care she needs at $145/day to get her up and get her out of there. Of course, to add insult to injury, my brother-in-law (ex-military, Republican, CPA) and sister (former wildly independent hellcat, current empty-nester, Republican, chairman of the school board, seamstress, hausfrau) have come down for a meeting to tell us what we should do.
That sort of came to an abrupt halt when I asked them if they were going to help. I tell ya, it gets a might frustrating when people who've been such a road-block to actually getting this whole episode with mom accomplished, start presenting brilliant ideas of what should be done and when, completely failing to understand that we're already about eight months ahead of them. This, they would have been completely aware of if they'd taken the time to get involved. There are times when I feel like I'm shouldering this thing alone, but that's not true, the folks are bearing most of the burden, after all, these are their lives. I'm glad that I can help, but it isn't until a person is presented with a situation like this that you know who is going to help and who is going to duck and cover.
In some ways, I just have to laugh. I listen to what some of my relatives say and the way they say it, like it is some mystery that has been revealed to them and they want to know if I've ever consider this particular perspective. Uh, excuse me, but this is a gay boy you're talking to. I went through adolescence looking at every aspect of my life from the perspective of how other people might perceive and interpret the most subtle cue. In short, I cut my teeth on looking at things from other people's angles.
I need to make a list of the seven or eight other permutations that they may not have considered, but in all honesty, I'm tired. I want to get back home, get some work done and prepare for the next time I need to be there for my folks. I'd also like to take a drive over Going-to-the-Sun highway, or maybe go out to the coast and dip my tootsies in the Pacific again, or maybe go out on a date for the first time in seventeen years.
The other day my other sister sent me an email with pictures of her and her husband canoeing down the Blackfoot river. If I'd have had my camera with me I could have sent her a picture of me- holding a cup for mom to puke into, or a picture of dad sick in bed with a real nasty cold."
Prayer Requests:
For David, who may have had a mini stroke this week, and for his wife joyce, who is recovering from cancer...
For Paul, who is going through a really rough time...
For Jay who shattered his Achilles Heel...
For Nancy who remains facing cancer concerns...
For Mark, Cathy, and Keith and ongoing health issues...
For my cousin Grant's infant daughter born several months premature...she's still hospitalized...
For my neighbor Dennis who is fighting a five year battle against cancer...
For Clayton's Sister who is going through a tough time...
For parents Vickie and Jimmy and their premature babies Heidi and Olivia...
For Stacy and Chris-who face frightening health challenges...
For Bobbi that her pregnancy continues without complications...Bobbi carries a boy.
For Brooke who is also pregnant. She is carrying a girl.
For all the cattle ranchers on both sides of the border facing Mad Cow fears...
Links, links, links...
A stupid, stupid, Republican defines a new perspective of illiteracy
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/26/opinion/26fri4.html?th&emc=th
Oh yeah....and then there is this...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/237863_teepen25.html
Mayor West loses another battle...Recall petition moves forward...
http://www.spokesmanreview.com/jimwest/story.asp?ID=082505_recall
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002452898_west26m.html
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/238070_recalled.asp
Last year's Tsunami went around the world. Twice.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002452894_tsunami26m.html
A very telling look at political paybacks and how an entire nation's security can be jeopardized...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002452876_leak26.html
A horrific shark attack witnessed by other diver...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002452846_shark26.html
Bush Administration requests another study of snowmobiles in Yellowstone...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/26/opinion/26fri3.html?th&emc=th
Harsh words for the President
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/editorialsopinion/2002452326_wared26.html
"The other day the rest home social worker stopped to ask if all of us could get together to discuss our "care plan". I can't tell you how many of these I've been through in the past 8 months, but they've all pretty much been a waste of time, but I'll be there at 10 AM tomorrow.The plan is to get mom enough physical therapy and whatever other care she needs at $145/day to get her up and get her out of there. Of course, to add insult to injury, my brother-in-law (ex-military, Republican, CPA) and sister (former wildly independent hellcat, current empty-nester, Republican, chairman of the school board, seamstress, hausfrau) have come down for a meeting to tell us what we should do.
That sort of came to an abrupt halt when I asked them if they were going to help. I tell ya, it gets a might frustrating when people who've been such a road-block to actually getting this whole episode with mom accomplished, start presenting brilliant ideas of what should be done and when, completely failing to understand that we're already about eight months ahead of them. This, they would have been completely aware of if they'd taken the time to get involved. There are times when I feel like I'm shouldering this thing alone, but that's not true, the folks are bearing most of the burden, after all, these are their lives. I'm glad that I can help, but it isn't until a person is presented with a situation like this that you know who is going to help and who is going to duck and cover.
In some ways, I just have to laugh. I listen to what some of my relatives say and the way they say it, like it is some mystery that has been revealed to them and they want to know if I've ever consider this particular perspective. Uh, excuse me, but this is a gay boy you're talking to. I went through adolescence looking at every aspect of my life from the perspective of how other people might perceive and interpret the most subtle cue. In short, I cut my teeth on looking at things from other people's angles.
I need to make a list of the seven or eight other permutations that they may not have considered, but in all honesty, I'm tired. I want to get back home, get some work done and prepare for the next time I need to be there for my folks. I'd also like to take a drive over Going-to-the-Sun highway, or maybe go out to the coast and dip my tootsies in the Pacific again, or maybe go out on a date for the first time in seventeen years.
The other day my other sister sent me an email with pictures of her and her husband canoeing down the Blackfoot river. If I'd have had my camera with me I could have sent her a picture of me- holding a cup for mom to puke into, or a picture of dad sick in bed with a real nasty cold."
An excerpt from a letter written by reader of this site, reflecting on the "family values" he's recently witnessed among family members.
Today's Blog:
I think what is written above is a very telling indictment of "faith based" anything.
Sadly, the truest ingredient in human interaction is often hypocrisy.
I guess that's why the message of Christ is so revolutionary. When it's actually shared that is...
Prayer Requests:
For David, who may have had a mini stroke this week, and for his wife joyce, who is recovering from cancer...
For Paul, who is going through a really rough time...
For Jay who shattered his Achilles Heel...
For Nancy who remains facing cancer concerns...
For Mark, Cathy, and Keith and ongoing health issues...
For my cousin Grant's infant daughter born several months premature...she's still hospitalized...
For my neighbor Dennis who is fighting a five year battle against cancer...
For Clayton's Sister who is going through a tough time...
For parents Vickie and Jimmy and their premature babies Heidi and Olivia...
For Stacy and Chris-who face frightening health challenges...
For Bobbi that her pregnancy continues without complications...Bobbi carries a boy.
For Brooke who is also pregnant. She is carrying a girl.
For all the cattle ranchers on both sides of the border facing Mad Cow fears...
Links, links, links...
A stupid, stupid, Republican defines a new perspective of illiteracy
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/26/opinion/26fri4.html?th&emc=th
Oh yeah....and then there is this...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/237863_teepen25.html
Mayor West loses another battle...Recall petition moves forward...
http://www.spokesmanreview.com/jimwest/story.asp?ID=082505_recall
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002452898_west26m.html
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/238070_recalled.asp
Last year's Tsunami went around the world. Twice.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002452894_tsunami26m.html
A very telling look at political paybacks and how an entire nation's security can be jeopardized...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002452876_leak26.html
A horrific shark attack witnessed by other diver...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002452846_shark26.html
Bush Administration requests another study of snowmobiles in Yellowstone...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/26/opinion/26fri3.html?th&emc=th
Harsh words for the President
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/editorialsopinion/2002452326_wared26.html
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Looking for weapons of WWJD?'s
Quote of the day:
"There are varying levels of obscenity in televangelist Pat Robertson's suggestion that an elected Latin American president, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez, should be killed. Robertson's already trying to back off, claiming that his phrase "take him out" could mean a lot of things. You bet. It's sort of like the fight over the meaning of "is."
Seattle PI Editorial, 8/25/05
Today's Blog:
In recent years, I've written extensively regarding the direction of modern Christianity. Especially as viewed under the lens that now includes the influence of the current "Rags to Riches" Tele-evangelical infomercial doctrine. You know this type of model, much resembling the mirror of Pat Robertson's religion of political whacko'd convenience; these religious leaders say Jesus with perfect pronunciation while practicing nothing of what Christ preached.
Indeed the new phrase going around the "Letters to the Editor" circuit is "WWJA?"-Who Would Jesus Assassinate?
Robertson is deservedly under fire for being the lunatic he is. First he denies he made the remark. Then he claims it was taken out of context. Then he rationalizes his stance by comparing his position to a true theologian of conscience-one who was subsequently murdered by the Nazis. Meanwhile the Bush administration, frantic over the sinking of their ship of political fortunes in the 2006 election and afraid to piss off the last base of support they have, evangelicals, looks the other way.
Uh President Bush here's a doctrinal hint- the phrase Christ coined was "Turn the Other Cheek." It wasn't "Look the other way". Robertson is not just a "private citizen" entitled to his own views. He is the centerpiece of a movement you have capitalized on again and again. If you believe in Jesus as much as you claim, its high time you took Robertson to the woodshed.
Historically the real problem here is that Christ has once again been completely hijacked--by people who really have no interest in turning cheeks, breaking bread, or hanging out with prostitutes-that is unless like Jimmy S, they are procuring their services.
And how cool is that?
We've now had 2000 years of debate over what makes a real Christian. But I wonder if a REAL Christian is even really interested in this debate. Heartfelt believers are just too busy-slogging it out in the trenches, loving their neighbor as themselves, and living humble lives in which servitude comes first. That's not nearly as fun as the mega dome excitement of being a testosteroned up! Promise Keepers Christian, not as glitzy as being a 700 Club Christian, and certainly not as profitable as being an ENRON Christian. We've had so many hijackings of things done in the name of Jesus it's hard to keep count. There was WWCC? (Where Would Christ Crusade), WWCG ?(Who Would Christ Gas), and finally, we've enjoyed WWJL? (Who Would Jesus Lynch) Now we get to add assassination to the mix. Is it any wonder the non Christian world doesn't trust the faith?
I don't mean to be offensive, but when is our species going to tire of people with political agendas hijacking religion for their own purposes? Right now the evangelicals are in serious damage control mode, but rest assured they'll be back before long, once again proclaiming new takes on WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do?).
Ironically Jesus Himself makes it very clear what he'd do. Read the New Testament. And if you see Robertson hanging out in Africa, sleeping in the dirt, eating the same porridge as every other starving person is stuck eating, not driving around in an air conditioned Land Rover, not mining for Diamonds in impoverished African Nations, and not looking the other way when oppression and dictatorship are the law of the land, then maybe just maybe there's a chance that Robertson and even the other evangelicals in this posse, the likes of Gary Bauer, Ralph Reed and James Dobson, have finally converted.
To Christianity.
Prayer Requests:
For my, father who in addition to last week's heart attack scare, was run over by a forklift earlier in the week. His shoulder and arm were injured in this latest accident, but immediately after the collision, at least one witness thought my father had been killed....
For David, who may have had a mini stroke this week, and for his wife joyce, who is recovering from cancer...
For Jay who shattered his Achilles Heel...
For Nancy who remains facing cancer concerns...
For Mark, Cathy, and Keith and ongoing health issues...
For my cousin Grant's infant daughter born several months premature...she's still hospitalized...
For my neighbor Dennis who is fighting a five year battle against cancer...
For Clayton's Sister who is going through a tough time...
For parents Vickie and Jimmy and their premature babies Heidi and Olivia...
For Stacy and Chris-who face frightening health challenges...
For Bobbi that her pregnancy continues without complications...Bobbi carries a boy.
For Brooke who is also pregnant. She is carrying a girl.
For all the cattle ranchers on both sides of the border facing Mad Cow fears...
Links, links, links...
Rex ponders the whole "gay community" thing...
http://365gay.com/opinion/wocknerwire/wocknerwire.htm
Mayor West Recall to move forward...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002451478_west25m.html
Evangelicals under fire for Robertson's remarks...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002451439_robertson25.html
And the NYTimes weighs in on Robertson...calling a spade a crackpot.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/25/opinion/25thu2.html?th&emc=th
"There are varying levels of obscenity in televangelist Pat Robertson's suggestion that an elected Latin American president, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez, should be killed. Robertson's already trying to back off, claiming that his phrase "take him out" could mean a lot of things. You bet. It's sort of like the fight over the meaning of "is."
Seattle PI Editorial, 8/25/05
Today's Blog:
In recent years, I've written extensively regarding the direction of modern Christianity. Especially as viewed under the lens that now includes the influence of the current "Rags to Riches" Tele-evangelical infomercial doctrine. You know this type of model, much resembling the mirror of Pat Robertson's religion of political whacko'd convenience; these religious leaders say Jesus with perfect pronunciation while practicing nothing of what Christ preached.
Indeed the new phrase going around the "Letters to the Editor" circuit is "WWJA?"-Who Would Jesus Assassinate?
Robertson is deservedly under fire for being the lunatic he is. First he denies he made the remark. Then he claims it was taken out of context. Then he rationalizes his stance by comparing his position to a true theologian of conscience-one who was subsequently murdered by the Nazis. Meanwhile the Bush administration, frantic over the sinking of their ship of political fortunes in the 2006 election and afraid to piss off the last base of support they have, evangelicals, looks the other way.
Uh President Bush here's a doctrinal hint- the phrase Christ coined was "Turn the Other Cheek." It wasn't "Look the other way". Robertson is not just a "private citizen" entitled to his own views. He is the centerpiece of a movement you have capitalized on again and again. If you believe in Jesus as much as you claim, its high time you took Robertson to the woodshed.
Historically the real problem here is that Christ has once again been completely hijacked--by people who really have no interest in turning cheeks, breaking bread, or hanging out with prostitutes-that is unless like Jimmy S, they are procuring their services.
And how cool is that?
We've now had 2000 years of debate over what makes a real Christian. But I wonder if a REAL Christian is even really interested in this debate. Heartfelt believers are just too busy-slogging it out in the trenches, loving their neighbor as themselves, and living humble lives in which servitude comes first. That's not nearly as fun as the mega dome excitement of being a testosteroned up! Promise Keepers Christian, not as glitzy as being a 700 Club Christian, and certainly not as profitable as being an ENRON Christian. We've had so many hijackings of things done in the name of Jesus it's hard to keep count. There was WWCC? (Where Would Christ Crusade), WWCG ?(Who Would Christ Gas), and finally, we've enjoyed WWJL? (Who Would Jesus Lynch) Now we get to add assassination to the mix. Is it any wonder the non Christian world doesn't trust the faith?
I don't mean to be offensive, but when is our species going to tire of people with political agendas hijacking religion for their own purposes? Right now the evangelicals are in serious damage control mode, but rest assured they'll be back before long, once again proclaiming new takes on WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do?).
Ironically Jesus Himself makes it very clear what he'd do. Read the New Testament. And if you see Robertson hanging out in Africa, sleeping in the dirt, eating the same porridge as every other starving person is stuck eating, not driving around in an air conditioned Land Rover, not mining for Diamonds in impoverished African Nations, and not looking the other way when oppression and dictatorship are the law of the land, then maybe just maybe there's a chance that Robertson and even the other evangelicals in this posse, the likes of Gary Bauer, Ralph Reed and James Dobson, have finally converted.
To Christianity.
Prayer Requests:
For my, father who in addition to last week's heart attack scare, was run over by a forklift earlier in the week. His shoulder and arm were injured in this latest accident, but immediately after the collision, at least one witness thought my father had been killed....
For David, who may have had a mini stroke this week, and for his wife joyce, who is recovering from cancer...
For Jay who shattered his Achilles Heel...
For Nancy who remains facing cancer concerns...
For Mark, Cathy, and Keith and ongoing health issues...
For my cousin Grant's infant daughter born several months premature...she's still hospitalized...
For my neighbor Dennis who is fighting a five year battle against cancer...
For Clayton's Sister who is going through a tough time...
For parents Vickie and Jimmy and their premature babies Heidi and Olivia...
For Stacy and Chris-who face frightening health challenges...
For Bobbi that her pregnancy continues without complications...Bobbi carries a boy.
For Brooke who is also pregnant. She is carrying a girl.
For all the cattle ranchers on both sides of the border facing Mad Cow fears...
Links, links, links...
Rex ponders the whole "gay community" thing...
http://365gay.com/opinion/wocknerwire/wocknerwire.htm
Mayor West Recall to move forward...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002451478_west25m.html
Evangelicals under fire for Robertson's remarks...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002451439_robertson25.html
And the NYTimes weighs in on Robertson...calling a spade a crackpot.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/25/opinion/25thu2.html?th&emc=th
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Drive Through This
Quote of the day:
" America has caved on Iraqi women's rights. In fact, the women's rights activists supported by George and Laura Bush may have to leave Iraq.
But, as a former C.I.A. Middle East specialist, Reuel Marc Gerecht, said on "Meet the Press," U.S. democracy in 1900 didn't let women vote. If Iraqi democracy resembled that, "we'd all be thrilled," he said. "I mean, women's social rights are not critical to the evolution of democracy."
Yesterday, the president hailed the constitution establishing an Islamic republic as "an amazing process," and said it "honors women's rights, the rights of minorities." Could he really think that? Or is he following the Vietnam model - declaring victory so we can leave?"
Maureen Dowd, NYTimes, 8/24/05
Today's Blog:
My former roommate Mikey and one of the best friends I have, visited last weekend to celebrate his 35th birthday. This is his account of a heartfelt moment he shared with another truck driver on his journey back to California. I've reposted it here because I think it directly counters the myths regarding gay truckers that are constantly reinforced by the gay press and truck chasing web sites.
On my way home from Pend Oreille County, I-5 was closed for a fire in gold hill.
I got stuck in the line of trucks. They started detouring traffic onto 99, but not till after we had already gotten past the exit. I think it was God's work. He knew the 40 year old cutie in the USXpress truck in front of me needed someone to talk to about his relationship with his boyfriend-A boyfriend who is drowning in depression and taking everyone around him down with him.
What other reason would there be?
Sitting in my four wheeler, I noticed the small pride sticker on the driver's mirror. I also saw the driver talking on the phone. It was easy to see that this was not a pleasant conversation. When his arms were not waving around, they hid the driver's face in the steering wheel. I got out of the car and walked over to the shoulder and stood on the white line to see if there were any signs of what was going on ahead of us. A few minutes later, the USXpress driver was standing next to me.
We started with some small talk about what had us stranded there, about how many truck drivers were pissed and cussing on the radio about their delays, and about how all the trucks still idling were company drivers without a clue (or care), of the money they were spilling out their pipes.
The driver had beautiful blue eyes. But, they were a bit swollen. He'd been crying. His smiles were forced. I could tell his heart was breaking, and that being forced to stop, was most likely a good thing. He looked to be about 30, but for the salt and pepper grey spread through his hair. I was surprised to find he was actually older than me.
I knew I was here to help... but how? He had to want to talk to a total stranger.
I introduced myself and he did the same. "J" was his name.
"Well "J", not to butt into your business". I started in, "but when I was checking out that sticker on your mirror, I noticed you were pretty upset on the phone. I hope everything is ok......"
He had that 'Oh Shit-busted' look on his face, but he said "I dunno.... I guess so."
"Well, sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger. Not Prying, just offering. "
"Thanks", he said, "I'll be ok."
After a bit more small talk, we went back to our vehicles, parked side by side. About 20 minutes later, there was a knock on the door, accompanied by a bright flashlight. I rolled down the window to greet Officer Hansen. He advised me, I could turn around in the center, and return to hwy 99 for a detour of the closure. I thanked him and declined. After looking at the median, I figured the car was too low to attempt the embarrassment of getting high centered in front of two hundred of my fellow truck drivers. NO THANKS!!!
"J" soon jumped out of the truck to see what the cop wanted with me. I told him I was sighted for being too damn good looking. For the first time, he smiled. I returned the favor. Crest would have been proud of how well their whitening strips were working. My knees buckled. He was adorable.
"J" stared at his feet, then looked back at me. "Is the offer still open?"
"Sure. Your place or mine?"
"Mine if it's ok. I have to stay by my phone, and it's charging".
We climbed in his truck. He was slow to getting started. But soon, lit only by the dash lights, I watched his emotions flashing across his face as he told his story. When he was done, I was amazed at the look he gave me. It was as if he had answered his own questions. And he did. He knew what he had to do, he was just scared to take the first step.
I felt the need to tell him a little bit about self preservation and about blind love. I just pray it helped.
After almost a 2 hour talk, the radio came alive. The trucks were starting to move. "J" was feeling better. I was sad we had to go. I asked for his number, and he refused. Said his other half forbids him giving out numbers. I then gave a quick lecture how I now hate his other half. (but in a nice way). I gave him my card.
He had that expression like he was about to refuse that too. "OH HELL NO!-Look" I said, "Its a business card. That's all."
I put one hand on the dash, and one on his chest. "If big Red has any problem out here, PLEASE, give me a call." I reached out to shake his hand. He gave me a big hug and Kiss. "Thank you".
"Thank You", I thought as I climbed out and returned to my car. He waved, put his big red truck in gear, and promptly stalled it. Turning as red as the truck, he restarted it, and pulled away. In the wrong gear.
I smiled all the way home.
While sex does occur on the road, just like it occurs everywhere else, the majority of this behavior is not as sought after by the overwhelming majority of professional truck drivers as certain elements would have us believe.
While I know sexuality is part of who we are, it is not ALL of who we are. While there are places located through out the country that are frequented by gay and bisexual drivers, these locations are far more about companionship, a hedge against loneliness, and finding an understanding someone to run down the road and share the miles with than they are about creating an environment conducive to a sexual free for all.
To underscore this point, over the years I've been approached by readers of this site, asking if I'd offer their names to 'just passing through' drivers I know who are traveling through their area. Unless I know someone really well, I lose these numbers. I don't want subject my trucker friends to these "offers" of hospitality-It seems there are always strings attached or expectations.
Especially in the gay community, there is an overt focus on sexuality. With trucking, that focus is even more pronounced, even if it isn't necessarily accurate among most drivers. It's that whole cowboy, masculinity hyped, rough trade drill-which is far more about fantasy than reality. I know hundreds of gay and bi truckers. Few of them have any investment or energy to devote to trying to meet the "All trucker Daddy-All the time" fantasy they are supposed to represent. To serve this population, we've been committed to ensuring that this site has always been relatively devoid of overt sexual content. We aren't hiding the fact we are gay. We just refuse to rub people's faces in what is best left behind closed doors in bedroom.
Yet unfortunately, there are a whole host of web based and pornographic institutions that make a lot of bank in constantly reinforcing and repackaging these heavily sexual myths. Drivers are often portrayed as nothing more than sexual giants, with horizonless libido's, and conquests in every local. Even sadder, some of these organizations are run by truckers or former truckers who damn well know that isn't the case. But when there is a buck to be made, a web site to sell, a fantasy to reinforce, or a porno storyline to be rehashed, you can bet that these recycled images are spoonfed to the gay masses regardless of reality.
Anytime I've told folks in the gay community that I spent nearly two decades on the road, driving a big rig, I've encountered raised eyebrows, sexual innuendo's and intense speculation. To them trucking is a one dimensional existence. Hopefully as more stories like the one above are told, we can change that perception.
For me driving truck was never about sex. That also holds true for the majority of the drivers I know.
Nearly a decade ago, I remember talking with a friend who tried to assist me in developing a way to supplement the incomes of truckers. Drivers literally often make less than minimum wage when all the uncompensated hours and work is factored into the job. We toyed with starting 976 Line where gay folk could call in and have conversations with real gay or bi professional drivers. These phone calls would be dispatched on cell phones we provided to interested drivers. The idea was that whenever they were lonely, trucking through the heartland across the middle of nowhere, they'd let us know if they had time to kill and had availability to field a call.
We hoped this might provide a hedge against some of that road rash isolation and put some much needed cash back in trucker's pockets. But the end game always resulted in something I could not be a part of, which was the reinforcement of the sexual hype surrounding gay drivers.
Even in such a controlled approach, truckers wouldn't necessarily be perceived as real people with real needs and so forth. Instead, they'd be fodder for fantasy, and chances are the marketing of this idea, regardless of the economic and emotional gain it provided to lonely drivers, would by its nature, take nothing more than a sexual turn.
I've seen all kinds of representations of what "supposedly" happens in the trucking industry. Indeed, the difference between the everyday realities in a gay trucker's life, as compared to the imagination of what that life must be like, as seen from the white collar, or non working-class gay perspective, is night and day.
I wish we were able to discount truck chasers and their ilk. But sadly they and the web sites that promote this culture translate into real consequences. In some urban areas, the truck chasing has gotten so bad, the vandalism and behavior so overt, that the authorities have closed many public locations frequented by tired truckers. These closures hurt everyone in the industry, especially giving gay drivers a bad name. Because there are already precious few places for tired truckers to park in many urban areas, it makes a dangerous truck parking situation even worse.
Sometimes just finding a place to park 80 feet of tractor-trailer so you can use a restroom or get some sleep is a huge enough challenge. Then to have 9 loitering guys follow you into the john while you try to take care of business is the ultimate in humiliation. Straight folks on vacation or straight drivers using the same facilities begin to equate truck chasing behavior with every gay driver even though most of the chasing is conducted by people who have no connection to the trucking industry. If a stranger approaches, striking up conversation without obligation, chances are the motive is rarely platonic and thus everyone, even most gay drivers are on the defensive.
Gay, bi, and straight truckers are endlessly objectified in the gay community. Whether it's Armistead Maupin in his book "The Night Listener", or Mark Weigle on his latest CD, many outsiders to the industry have a sexualized fantasy agenda they sell whenever it comes to the subject of trucking. I'd even call it sexploitation.
In any other industry this treatment would be considered sexual harassment, but in the no-boundaries world of gay truck chasing, it appears that any behavior is acceptable. Even if that means promoting illegal behavior such as drilling holes in public restroom walls, creating X rated graffiti, or exposing yourself to anyone who happens to be using the restroom.
A couple weeks ago I was interviewed in Southern Voice Magazine. The topic predictably turned to promiscuous behavior on the road. The reporter had already interviewed the founder of one of the web based truck chaser networks, who had an agenda in promoting his web based endeavors. Not once did the reporter confront this former trucker about vandalism or the fact that many truckers feel like they are prey under the onslaught of truck chasing. Yet in the same article, the trucker hawk, watching over his legions of truck chasers, proclaimed a spirit of professionalism.
How professional is it to drill holes in restrooms walls or pursue people to the point where they feel relentlessly targeted? How professional is it to continually reinforce a one dimensional sexualized view of your fellow drivers?
In a recent pilot study conducted out of Arizona State University a wide variety of truckers were surveyed about cruising behavior in truck stops and rest areas. The behavior was so overt that nearly every single trucker, nearly all of them identifying as straight, expressed familiarity with all the signs of truck chasing behavior. All of them claimed they were not a part of this behavior. Truck chasers respond wishfully that many of those who claim to be straight drivers aren't. How else could they be familiar with truck chasing if they weren't a part of it?
But I believe it is a safe bet to say that this behavior is so pervasive that it's impossible to ignore or avoid simply because it's everywhere. If you drive truck, gay or straight, you can't get away from it. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people drive down the highway in their vehicles naked. But just the fact it's everywhere doesn't equate this behavior as being welcomed among everyone. Truckers have few choices in the facilities available to them, so avoiding this attention, especially when people are following them into rest area restrooms while grouping themselves, isn't an option.
As I mentioned earlier, sex happens on the road, whether drivers are gay or straight. But it does not define the circus or promiscuity these websites promote. I strongly believe that the majority of truckers pursue healthy stable relationships, and that the majority of those who promote truck chasing culture have an agenda.
I also think that many professional gay truckers are as tired of this negative, relentless sexual attention as are their straight counterparts. These myths do not necessarily have to translate into self fulfilling prophesys and the steadfast professionalism demonstrated by the US Express Driver cited above is far more prevalent than all these websites would have us to believe. The truth is many gay drivers are in committed relationships and are faithful to their partners.
Yet regardless, whether single or partnered, gay truckers look for respect, commonality, and companionship. They look for someone who will listen, who isn't expecting anything in return, and hopefully someone who will really understand and relate to just what life on the big road is really like.
Especially when it's lived spread across all those miles.
Prayer Requests:
For my, father who in addition to last week's heart attack scare, was hit by a forklift yesterday. His shoulder and arm were injured in this latest accident, but immediately after the collision, at least one witness thought my father had been killed....Today he is sore, swollen, and bruised but thankfully his injuries were not as serious as they could have been...
For David, who may have had a mini stroke this week, and for his wife Joyce, who is recovering from cancer...
For Jay who shattered his Achilles Heel...
For Nancy who remains facing cancer concerns...
For Mark, Cathy, and Keith and ongoing health issues...
For my cousin Grant's infant daughter born several months premature...she's still hospitalized...
For my neighbor Dennis who is fighting a five year battle against cancer...
For Clayton's Sister who is going through a tough time...
For parents Vickie and Jimmy and their premature babies Heidi and Olivia...
For Stacy and Chris-who face frightening health challenges...
For Bobbi that her pregnancy continues without complications...Bobbi carries a boy.
For Brooke who is also pregnant. She is carrying a girl.
For all the cattle ranchers on both sides of the border facing Mad Cow fears...
Links, links, links...
The oddest pairing on TV...
http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/wire/sns-ap-ap-on-tv-birch--company,0,755820.story?page=1&coll=sns-ap-tv-headline
Televangelist under fire for calls to assassinate leader
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002450319_robertson24.html
State Supreme Court to hear case on Mayor West Recall Petition
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002450340_west24m.html
Hong Kong judge throws out law criminalizing same sex sexual relationships. Prior to this ruling, being gay could result in a life sentence...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/apasia_story.asp?category=1104&slug=Hong%20Kong%20Gay%20Sex%20Laws
Short, sweet and to the point...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/237700_supported.asp
And even better-the NYTimes dismantles Bush and the reasoning behind the Iraqi war...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/24/opinion/24wed1.html?th&emc=th
" America has caved on Iraqi women's rights. In fact, the women's rights activists supported by George and Laura Bush may have to leave Iraq.
But, as a former C.I.A. Middle East specialist, Reuel Marc Gerecht, said on "Meet the Press," U.S. democracy in 1900 didn't let women vote. If Iraqi democracy resembled that, "we'd all be thrilled," he said. "I mean, women's social rights are not critical to the evolution of democracy."
Yesterday, the president hailed the constitution establishing an Islamic republic as "an amazing process," and said it "honors women's rights, the rights of minorities." Could he really think that? Or is he following the Vietnam model - declaring victory so we can leave?"
Maureen Dowd, NYTimes, 8/24/05
Today's Blog:
My former roommate Mikey and one of the best friends I have, visited last weekend to celebrate his 35th birthday. This is his account of a heartfelt moment he shared with another truck driver on his journey back to California. I've reposted it here because I think it directly counters the myths regarding gay truckers that are constantly reinforced by the gay press and truck chasing web sites.
On my way home from Pend Oreille County, I-5 was closed for a fire in gold hill.
I got stuck in the line of trucks. They started detouring traffic onto 99, but not till after we had already gotten past the exit. I think it was God's work. He knew the 40 year old cutie in the USXpress truck in front of me needed someone to talk to about his relationship with his boyfriend-A boyfriend who is drowning in depression and taking everyone around him down with him.
What other reason would there be?
Sitting in my four wheeler, I noticed the small pride sticker on the driver's mirror. I also saw the driver talking on the phone. It was easy to see that this was not a pleasant conversation. When his arms were not waving around, they hid the driver's face in the steering wheel. I got out of the car and walked over to the shoulder and stood on the white line to see if there were any signs of what was going on ahead of us. A few minutes later, the USXpress driver was standing next to me.
We started with some small talk about what had us stranded there, about how many truck drivers were pissed and cussing on the radio about their delays, and about how all the trucks still idling were company drivers without a clue (or care), of the money they were spilling out their pipes.
The driver had beautiful blue eyes. But, they were a bit swollen. He'd been crying. His smiles were forced. I could tell his heart was breaking, and that being forced to stop, was most likely a good thing. He looked to be about 30, but for the salt and pepper grey spread through his hair. I was surprised to find he was actually older than me.
I knew I was here to help... but how? He had to want to talk to a total stranger.
I introduced myself and he did the same. "J" was his name.
"Well "J", not to butt into your business". I started in, "but when I was checking out that sticker on your mirror, I noticed you were pretty upset on the phone. I hope everything is ok......"
He had that 'Oh Shit-busted' look on his face, but he said "I dunno.... I guess so."
"Well, sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger. Not Prying, just offering. "
"Thanks", he said, "I'll be ok."
After a bit more small talk, we went back to our vehicles, parked side by side. About 20 minutes later, there was a knock on the door, accompanied by a bright flashlight. I rolled down the window to greet Officer Hansen. He advised me, I could turn around in the center, and return to hwy 99 for a detour of the closure. I thanked him and declined. After looking at the median, I figured the car was too low to attempt the embarrassment of getting high centered in front of two hundred of my fellow truck drivers. NO THANKS!!!
"J" soon jumped out of the truck to see what the cop wanted with me. I told him I was sighted for being too damn good looking. For the first time, he smiled. I returned the favor. Crest would have been proud of how well their whitening strips were working. My knees buckled. He was adorable.
"J" stared at his feet, then looked back at me. "Is the offer still open?"
"Sure. Your place or mine?"
"Mine if it's ok. I have to stay by my phone, and it's charging".
We climbed in his truck. He was slow to getting started. But soon, lit only by the dash lights, I watched his emotions flashing across his face as he told his story. When he was done, I was amazed at the look he gave me. It was as if he had answered his own questions. And he did. He knew what he had to do, he was just scared to take the first step.
I felt the need to tell him a little bit about self preservation and about blind love. I just pray it helped.
After almost a 2 hour talk, the radio came alive. The trucks were starting to move. "J" was feeling better. I was sad we had to go. I asked for his number, and he refused. Said his other half forbids him giving out numbers. I then gave a quick lecture how I now hate his other half. (but in a nice way). I gave him my card.
He had that expression like he was about to refuse that too. "OH HELL NO!-Look" I said, "Its a business card. That's all."
I put one hand on the dash, and one on his chest. "If big Red has any problem out here, PLEASE, give me a call." I reached out to shake his hand. He gave me a big hug and Kiss. "Thank you".
"Thank You", I thought as I climbed out and returned to my car. He waved, put his big red truck in gear, and promptly stalled it. Turning as red as the truck, he restarted it, and pulled away. In the wrong gear.
I smiled all the way home.
While sex does occur on the road, just like it occurs everywhere else, the majority of this behavior is not as sought after by the overwhelming majority of professional truck drivers as certain elements would have us believe.
While I know sexuality is part of who we are, it is not ALL of who we are. While there are places located through out the country that are frequented by gay and bisexual drivers, these locations are far more about companionship, a hedge against loneliness, and finding an understanding someone to run down the road and share the miles with than they are about creating an environment conducive to a sexual free for all.
To underscore this point, over the years I've been approached by readers of this site, asking if I'd offer their names to 'just passing through' drivers I know who are traveling through their area. Unless I know someone really well, I lose these numbers. I don't want subject my trucker friends to these "offers" of hospitality-It seems there are always strings attached or expectations.
Especially in the gay community, there is an overt focus on sexuality. With trucking, that focus is even more pronounced, even if it isn't necessarily accurate among most drivers. It's that whole cowboy, masculinity hyped, rough trade drill-which is far more about fantasy than reality. I know hundreds of gay and bi truckers. Few of them have any investment or energy to devote to trying to meet the "All trucker Daddy-All the time" fantasy they are supposed to represent. To serve this population, we've been committed to ensuring that this site has always been relatively devoid of overt sexual content. We aren't hiding the fact we are gay. We just refuse to rub people's faces in what is best left behind closed doors in bedroom.
Yet unfortunately, there are a whole host of web based and pornographic institutions that make a lot of bank in constantly reinforcing and repackaging these heavily sexual myths. Drivers are often portrayed as nothing more than sexual giants, with horizonless libido's, and conquests in every local. Even sadder, some of these organizations are run by truckers or former truckers who damn well know that isn't the case. But when there is a buck to be made, a web site to sell, a fantasy to reinforce, or a porno storyline to be rehashed, you can bet that these recycled images are spoonfed to the gay masses regardless of reality.
Anytime I've told folks in the gay community that I spent nearly two decades on the road, driving a big rig, I've encountered raised eyebrows, sexual innuendo's and intense speculation. To them trucking is a one dimensional existence. Hopefully as more stories like the one above are told, we can change that perception.
For me driving truck was never about sex. That also holds true for the majority of the drivers I know.
Nearly a decade ago, I remember talking with a friend who tried to assist me in developing a way to supplement the incomes of truckers. Drivers literally often make less than minimum wage when all the uncompensated hours and work is factored into the job. We toyed with starting 976 Line where gay folk could call in and have conversations with real gay or bi professional drivers. These phone calls would be dispatched on cell phones we provided to interested drivers. The idea was that whenever they were lonely, trucking through the heartland across the middle of nowhere, they'd let us know if they had time to kill and had availability to field a call.
We hoped this might provide a hedge against some of that road rash isolation and put some much needed cash back in trucker's pockets. But the end game always resulted in something I could not be a part of, which was the reinforcement of the sexual hype surrounding gay drivers.
Even in such a controlled approach, truckers wouldn't necessarily be perceived as real people with real needs and so forth. Instead, they'd be fodder for fantasy, and chances are the marketing of this idea, regardless of the economic and emotional gain it provided to lonely drivers, would by its nature, take nothing more than a sexual turn.
I've seen all kinds of representations of what "supposedly" happens in the trucking industry. Indeed, the difference between the everyday realities in a gay trucker's life, as compared to the imagination of what that life must be like, as seen from the white collar, or non working-class gay perspective, is night and day.
I wish we were able to discount truck chasers and their ilk. But sadly they and the web sites that promote this culture translate into real consequences. In some urban areas, the truck chasing has gotten so bad, the vandalism and behavior so overt, that the authorities have closed many public locations frequented by tired truckers. These closures hurt everyone in the industry, especially giving gay drivers a bad name. Because there are already precious few places for tired truckers to park in many urban areas, it makes a dangerous truck parking situation even worse.
Sometimes just finding a place to park 80 feet of tractor-trailer so you can use a restroom or get some sleep is a huge enough challenge. Then to have 9 loitering guys follow you into the john while you try to take care of business is the ultimate in humiliation. Straight folks on vacation or straight drivers using the same facilities begin to equate truck chasing behavior with every gay driver even though most of the chasing is conducted by people who have no connection to the trucking industry. If a stranger approaches, striking up conversation without obligation, chances are the motive is rarely platonic and thus everyone, even most gay drivers are on the defensive.
Gay, bi, and straight truckers are endlessly objectified in the gay community. Whether it's Armistead Maupin in his book "The Night Listener", or Mark Weigle on his latest CD, many outsiders to the industry have a sexualized fantasy agenda they sell whenever it comes to the subject of trucking. I'd even call it sexploitation.
In any other industry this treatment would be considered sexual harassment, but in the no-boundaries world of gay truck chasing, it appears that any behavior is acceptable. Even if that means promoting illegal behavior such as drilling holes in public restroom walls, creating X rated graffiti, or exposing yourself to anyone who happens to be using the restroom.
A couple weeks ago I was interviewed in Southern Voice Magazine. The topic predictably turned to promiscuous behavior on the road. The reporter had already interviewed the founder of one of the web based truck chaser networks, who had an agenda in promoting his web based endeavors. Not once did the reporter confront this former trucker about vandalism or the fact that many truckers feel like they are prey under the onslaught of truck chasing. Yet in the same article, the trucker hawk, watching over his legions of truck chasers, proclaimed a spirit of professionalism.
How professional is it to drill holes in restrooms walls or pursue people to the point where they feel relentlessly targeted? How professional is it to continually reinforce a one dimensional sexualized view of your fellow drivers?
In a recent pilot study conducted out of Arizona State University a wide variety of truckers were surveyed about cruising behavior in truck stops and rest areas. The behavior was so overt that nearly every single trucker, nearly all of them identifying as straight, expressed familiarity with all the signs of truck chasing behavior. All of them claimed they were not a part of this behavior. Truck chasers respond wishfully that many of those who claim to be straight drivers aren't. How else could they be familiar with truck chasing if they weren't a part of it?
But I believe it is a safe bet to say that this behavior is so pervasive that it's impossible to ignore or avoid simply because it's everywhere. If you drive truck, gay or straight, you can't get away from it. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people drive down the highway in their vehicles naked. But just the fact it's everywhere doesn't equate this behavior as being welcomed among everyone. Truckers have few choices in the facilities available to them, so avoiding this attention, especially when people are following them into rest area restrooms while grouping themselves, isn't an option.
As I mentioned earlier, sex happens on the road, whether drivers are gay or straight. But it does not define the circus or promiscuity these websites promote. I strongly believe that the majority of truckers pursue healthy stable relationships, and that the majority of those who promote truck chasing culture have an agenda.
I also think that many professional gay truckers are as tired of this negative, relentless sexual attention as are their straight counterparts. These myths do not necessarily have to translate into self fulfilling prophesys and the steadfast professionalism demonstrated by the US Express Driver cited above is far more prevalent than all these websites would have us to believe. The truth is many gay drivers are in committed relationships and are faithful to their partners.
Yet regardless, whether single or partnered, gay truckers look for respect, commonality, and companionship. They look for someone who will listen, who isn't expecting anything in return, and hopefully someone who will really understand and relate to just what life on the big road is really like.
Especially when it's lived spread across all those miles.
Prayer Requests:
For my, father who in addition to last week's heart attack scare, was hit by a forklift yesterday. His shoulder and arm were injured in this latest accident, but immediately after the collision, at least one witness thought my father had been killed....Today he is sore, swollen, and bruised but thankfully his injuries were not as serious as they could have been...
For David, who may have had a mini stroke this week, and for his wife Joyce, who is recovering from cancer...
For Jay who shattered his Achilles Heel...
For Nancy who remains facing cancer concerns...
For Mark, Cathy, and Keith and ongoing health issues...
For my cousin Grant's infant daughter born several months premature...she's still hospitalized...
For my neighbor Dennis who is fighting a five year battle against cancer...
For Clayton's Sister who is going through a tough time...
For parents Vickie and Jimmy and their premature babies Heidi and Olivia...
For Stacy and Chris-who face frightening health challenges...
For Bobbi that her pregnancy continues without complications...Bobbi carries a boy.
For Brooke who is also pregnant. She is carrying a girl.
For all the cattle ranchers on both sides of the border facing Mad Cow fears...
Links, links, links...
The oddest pairing on TV...
http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/wire/sns-ap-ap-on-tv-birch--company,0,755820.story?page=1&coll=sns-ap-tv-headline
Televangelist under fire for calls to assassinate leader
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002450319_robertson24.html
State Supreme Court to hear case on Mayor West Recall Petition
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002450340_west24m.html
Hong Kong judge throws out law criminalizing same sex sexual relationships. Prior to this ruling, being gay could result in a life sentence...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/apasia_story.asp?category=1104&slug=Hong%20Kong%20Gay%20Sex%20Laws
Short, sweet and to the point...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/237700_supported.asp
And even better-the NYTimes dismantles Bush and the reasoning behind the Iraqi war...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/24/opinion/24wed1.html?th&emc=th
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